No one escape death

Quote from Dead by Daylight. But i don’t play it.

I want to die! Die die die die die die just now.
Do you know why i write diary in English?
The answer is that...
If i write in English, i think I can tell you softly my painful mind.
How about u? Can i tell u softly?

Recently, i get a few foreign friends so i talk them in English.
I can only use English that is junior high school level, but we r can talk.
It’s OK.

It’s OK. I’m OK. Even now my black dog barks and bites me.
Do you know my black dog?
His name is depression.
This video explains him.

I’m tired. So tired.  Living is too hard for me.
No one help me, no one listen to my story, no one read my words.
My messia is medicine. lol

Today my dad gave me money cuz i would go to Osaka for musical.
However i could not. Cuz I was stupid, I was tired, I was foolish, I was pitiful.
I have to die just now.
I’m sorry dad, mom, friends, my lovely sister.
I don't have worth to live.
But I’m afraid of dying. I can’t sucide. Only I can do is cut my wrist, over dose medicines.
Laugh me! This pitiful dust.

No one help me, cuz i have not helped anyone.
I have not been  kind anyone. Is this grammar right? Haha i don’t care it.
People r so busy. They have no time to help anyone.
It is so sad. Sad sad Sad sad sad sad sad.
But it is unavoidable. It’s all my responsibility .

Hey my angel, are you here?
Plz help me or kill me.
I’m so tired. I’m sooooooo tired to live.

This is the END.
Don’t say “Are you OK?”, cuz I’m not OK.
Don’t say “Be fine’’, cuz  I can’t be.
 
I’m really sorry. 
I don’t know what should I do.
I’m so sorry. Sorry everyone. 
I can’t do anything.
I had better die.

I don’t know. I can’t anything.
I’m sorry, I’m so sorrry, sorry.
That’s all.
Bye.